love to lie, lie to love.

guilt is a choice.
just like the action that caused it was.

Here's the deal. I don't like college. It's not for me, but I don't have any other choice.

Reality Check

Call me crazy, but I find myself constantly weighing the pros and cons of college and whim. Obviously the smart and responsible way would be to finish my education, get an internship, and segway into the world, or I can be reckless and ruthless and have fun now, and use my personal drive and personality strengths to persue my dreams. What about all the people that have gotten where they are from pure drive? Kelly Cutrone-biggest PR guru of the current times. She moved out at 17, ran rampid throughout Los Angeles and NYC, and is now a powerhouse. What the fuck? I want to work for Nylon, or maybe even Rolling Stone. Will a journalism degree from a university really push me forward above the trendy rich kids or cool party hoppers? I honestly think not. I'm getting an education for an industry based soley on connections. Am I wasting my time?

FUN STUFF

FASHION LUSTTTT:
superlonghair.littleblackdresses.exaggeratedheadbands.lotsoftthigh.

NOVEMBER 3RD:

HELLO SEXY!

"baby, i love you,

i never wanna let you go.

the more i think of it,

the more i wanna let you know.

that everything you do

is super fuckin cute

and i cant stand it."

I'm Back.

This is going to be a real entry. I haven't made an honest straight forward rant in a while, I miss it.

It's not that I've been lost, persay, but I've just made like 5 major shifts in my life and they happened all at once. Everything is finally settling down and I feel sort of comforted in the newness of it all. So here's a download:

*IF YOU WISH TO SKIP THE BORING SHIT, GO TO MY NEXT BLOG*

School: College, though I care about it, and am thankful for the oppurtunity, I feel like its vacation. It's school, but so minor in my thoughts and priorities. Not in a slacker way like highschool, I'm doing the work, it's just not a blinking beacon of importance.

Friends: I've made new ones. My roomate, she's pretty much the shit. I love that the day after I moved in, I felt comfortable letting curse words fly out and the fact that she doesn't mind my sleeping through classes, score. But I miss my Seven. I'm tearing up as I'm writing this, because I can just see all their faces. Heads shaking at my college conquests, voices squeeling at my girlie love stories, and sitting in a kitchen, everyone talking at once, yet everyone hearing each and every girl. I love them

Boys: BOY: I'm currently head over heels in teenage lust/romance/infatuation. I don't know how comfortable he is with the mention of him on a blog, (he's sort of famous), but I like him a tons and tons and tons.

mineallmineallmineallmine

ALL MINE.

PeePee DickHands

i just kept waiting for the phone call.
saying you were on the other side of my door.
waiting for the moment that i ripped it open, and saw you
on the phone with me.
i wanted this moment to happen so badly.

but mostly i just wanted you to want to do it.

i wanted you to want me like i need you.