"now that we are over as the loving kind...."

"say what you need to say."

"do you love me or the thought of me?"

"i dont care if we dont sleep at all tonight,
lets just fix this whole thing now."

"suddenly i know exactly what ive done, and exactly what its gonna mean to me."

"dont say a word, just come over and lie next to me"

"youre body is a wonderland."

fight

breakup

makeup

by John Mayer

Expiration Date

i really cant believe ive waited around this long.
i keep telling myself it'll end in the most idealliac way,
that the peices will fall into the pattern that i want.
they wont.
its not.
he cant do it.
do what exactly? im not sure.
get out of what hes in? nope.
make up his mind? nope.
every make me happy? i dont know.

i cant wait anymore. me, the world's biggest cynic, is letting herself get slowly chipped away by his empty promises. i cant wait any more.

maybe a little longer.
fuck.

Love Games

girls, you think too complex.
you think about all the clauses and rules. and the truth is, guys are too fucking STUPID to catch on.

guys, you don't think enough.
you dont even recognize the clauses and rules. and the truth is, girls need a little affection to stay interested.

THESE GAMES DONT EXIST. its a waste of time. take for example, every stupid cheesy movie. boy meets girl; check. a problem arises that puts up a wall; check. both parties are miserable; check. some HUGE romantic gesture breaks down the wall and everyone lives happily ever after; ____.

we, in the real world, never make it to the end. we dance around the idea, shit gets messy, and NO ONE steps up to the plate for this "romantic gesture". we get bored and move on.

girls, allow the romantic gesture.
boys, make that fucking gesture.

because without it, the game starts over, and sits on repeat.

What The Fuck.

i really miss good music.
like there isnt a song, for real, since the 90's thats resinated with me in a way that allows me to WANT to hear it over and over. i get tired of every song on the radio. and every song i used to like, some how finds it's way onto the radio, thus, getting old.

music used to be more than a category on facebook. used to be more than a conversation topic. used to be more than some kid rapping over a tired and unoriginal beat made from garage band. todays "music" lacks originality and substance. music used to be, and excuse the cliche, but a way of life. it was a style, a personality trait. it was a part of the fans and the ones who cared to listen. now its just background static.

im on the hunt for music that lives up to the facade and mysterious lure that feeds the hunger of thoes who actually crave it. something that i will play over and over and itll sound different, yet equally inspiring each time.

end.

story of my life

correction: SONG of my life.

Boys With Girlfriends by Meiko

stealing, smoking, and church

i was packing and i found this piece of pottery i made at camp. its really really old, and i was looking at it and i thought, "fuck, this is really good for an 11 year old." its perfectly smooth, and the edges are all symmetirical and its got this splattered paint job. as i started observing it, i flipped it over and felt the initials engraved on the bottom. problem. my name isn't Lauren Phitzer. i stole a fucking hand made pot from church camp. then i kept looking at it, marveling at Lauren's craftsmanship and i realized, i stole Lauren Phitzer's ashtray she made at church camp.

its a beautiful ashtray.
thank you lauren.
im using it now and listening to shitty french music and flicking my ashes into your perfectly sculpted bowl.

heartbreak warefare.

now im free fallin. free fallin. now im free fallin. im free fallin.

hahah im in sstage one of the 3

1)sad. embrace. be that little emo kid and listen ONLY to the songs that trigger this emotion.
2)angry. hate everything and everyone. say shit you dont mean and pretend really hard you mean it.
3) fuck this, i just wanna stay at #1.

im having this reaccuring dream. maybe because this song is on repeat.
its not a nightmare, even though it makes me wanna cry.
hes at my door, shes gone.
how did i let it get in the way of everything else?

there couldntve been a connection that quick. that soon.
nope. naw. nuh uh. nofuckingway.

there really isnt any solitutde

there really arent any ans