WAVES

Dear few, yet interested viewers,

So my life is shambles. Chaos. But for the first time in a long time I feel together. I feel comforable. I feel loved, appreciated and peaceful. I have alot of people and situations, oppurtunities and adventures to thank for this feeling. I went on a cruise recently, and at the risk of sounding spoiled, but I wasn't excited. I wanted a classic Christmas with family and trees and presents and coziness, not a huge ship full of strangers and family I barley know. But something happened and it I gradually sunk into the feeling I decsribed earlier. I had a moment, an aphinany. I was out on the balcony in our (very small, very smelly) room, and for the first time the boat wasn't rocking at a nausiating pace, and I was alone in the room. The one time. I thought I'd sit out on the balcony, (in my white fluffy robe of course) and sit and have some time to think of all the shit that's happened this past semester. School, family, life. And as I was staring out into the bluest ocean I have ever witnessed, seriously a postcard view, my mind went completely blank. I couldn't even force myself to think. As the waves curled spashing over, an identical wave of relief washed over me and stayed with me for the remainder of the trip. I grew as close as humanly possible to my mom (safe to say WAY too close), and got on a level with my grandparents that warms me just thinking about it. This is going to be a good year. I have alot of bridges to mend, and situations to fix, and guarteed obstacles to over come but I know this feeling will make it a little easier. My New Year's resolution is to appreciate the small things and to realize that 5 min of peace can seriously change your whole outlook. I hope this year brings everyone this same optimism and peace that I've just discovered.

(Don't worry, I'm still a cynical basket case, just more at ease;)

Happy New Year, eveyone!