WAVES

Dear few, yet interested viewers,

So my life is shambles. Chaos. But for the first time in a long time I feel together. I feel comforable. I feel loved, appreciated and peaceful. I have alot of people and situations, oppurtunities and adventures to thank for this feeling. I went on a cruise recently, and at the risk of sounding spoiled, but I wasn't excited. I wanted a classic Christmas with family and trees and presents and coziness, not a huge ship full of strangers and family I barley know. But something happened and it I gradually sunk into the feeling I decsribed earlier. I had a moment, an aphinany. I was out on the balcony in our (very small, very smelly) room, and for the first time the boat wasn't rocking at a nausiating pace, and I was alone in the room. The one time. I thought I'd sit out on the balcony, (in my white fluffy robe of course) and sit and have some time to think of all the shit that's happened this past semester. School, family, life. And as I was staring out into the bluest ocean I have ever witnessed, seriously a postcard view, my mind went completely blank. I couldn't even force myself to think. As the waves curled spashing over, an identical wave of relief washed over me and stayed with me for the remainder of the trip. I grew as close as humanly possible to my mom (safe to say WAY too close), and got on a level with my grandparents that warms me just thinking about it. This is going to be a good year. I have alot of bridges to mend, and situations to fix, and guarteed obstacles to over come but I know this feeling will make it a little easier. My New Year's resolution is to appreciate the small things and to realize that 5 min of peace can seriously change your whole outlook. I hope this year brings everyone this same optimism and peace that I've just discovered.

(Don't worry, I'm still a cynical basket case, just more at ease;)

Happy New Year, eveyone!

Winter Break pt 1

Here are a few pic collages from the break.
{click to enlarge} sorry, my HTML is fucking up.

crazy

I'm ready for something to be constant in my life. Even if it's constant mayhem, I just need stability. I need friends who won't flake, I need boys or aren't after ass, and I need family in one place. I need some sort of constant stability, or I'm afraid that I'll rapidly go insane... and I'm scared.



and I'd like some sushi.

Charades

I'm say that I want to settle down, but honestly, I have too much fun being this mess.

Brothers and Sisters, we face the end
so run and grab your knifes
fight on againt utility

Mothers and Daughters, keep pace
and you're first on their list
to die alone

Can't you taste the blood on your lips?
Bitterness.
Can't you taste the blood of your tongue tied terror?

Well I am an island
alone in a sea of leopards and lions
The sick and the the strong, wrong

Beneath the waves,
a heavenly place
Deep in the grave
Heaven.

Brothers and Sisters, we waste
the very sand of our lives
fight on, fight on, for humility

Mothers and Daughters, erase
our names from your hearts
die all, die all alone.

Can't you taste the blood on your lips?
Bitterness.
Can't you taste the blood oh, you tongue tied terror?


Well I am an island
alone in a sea of, Leopards and Lions
The sick and the strong, wrong.

Beneath the waves
a heavenly place
deep in the grave,
yeah, heaven.





You've been slaying and it shows.
I would rather die.



myspace.com/lionscollide

After telling my sister I was seeking help:

J: Go tell that to your psychic
Me: SHE'S A PSYCHIATRIST YOU FUCK. SHE'S NOT TELLING ME WHAT'S IN HER CRYSTAL BALL.
J: She gon read yo palm, nigga.



Love the support.

So now that I'm on my STRICT diet...

FUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Christmas Spirit.